Title: It Happened It Hurt Now What
Author: Wesley Clark
I first heard of Clark on Scott Neal’s podcast Imperfect Leader. This book filled in some of the gaps of the podcast. Clark has had what most would consider a tragic life. Clark grew up in Norfolk, VA and moved to Elizabeth City, NC in his high school years. At that time Clark was filled with some teen angst. “I had a huge problem with adults not behaving like adults.” His mother had to beg and plead to get him to attend the regular high school in Elizabeth City. If not for the help of the band teacher Mr. James, who spoke up on Clark’s behalf, he most likely would have attended the alternative school. Clark had met James during the summer band camp. One thing that has stuck with him through his life is his love of drumming. From the age of 3, he started playing drums and by 13 he was the main drummer at his church. Growing up his family was a tight unit. His mother was the family rock. The father was the provider. Talking about family Clark said “men teach boys how to become men. Women, however, teach men something different. Women teach us how to tap into parts of us that are subdued. They teach us about our hearts and our spirits. Women teach us how to care for a person other than yourself.”
Clark’s family had a heart defect that plagued them all. well, except for Clark himself. He lost his sister, followed by another sister, then his brother who active and healthy, and then his mom. So it was just him and his dad, and his dad couldn’t make it without his spouse. When his dad died he was all alone. This alone would be a tragic story but Clark also got his girlfriend pregnant and tried to make it right by marrying her. They tried to work it out but being young, broke, and with little options in life, they spent most of their time arguing and Clark talks about his struggles with infidelity at the time. So after losing all his family, and a marriage, Clark is trying to be positive and continue to move forward. A few things that Clark gives credit to that have helped him through the tough times are God and drumming.